When We Honor Uniqueness We All Benefit
What are the possibilities?
When we honor uniqueness we all benefit. It’s a big statement and it would be great if it applied universally anytime you are interacting with another person, and particularly if you want to be a part of collaborating towards successful outcomes to the benefit of everyone – the collaborators, the client/cause/problem to solve, and all the others who will be possibly affected by the efforts of the ‘whole’. In other words, authentic collaboration keeps on giving when authenticity grows more connection – except that’s not quite true is it?
Invisible and Visible Actions
There’s something that needs to be ever-present for authenticity to run throughout collaborations. Psychological safety. Without psychological safety authentic collaboration can’t happen and won’t have any longevity. But what is ‘psychological safety’?
Referring to the original definition coined by Carl Rogers in 1954, it is made up of four tenets that work together:
1. Accept each other unconditionally with empathy and kindness.
2. Everyone’s ideas are welcome, and judge constructively.
3. Curiosity, openness, flexibility and awareness of emotions is a consistent practice.
4. Everyone is safe to learn their way.
The Longevity of the A-ha Moment
Psychological safety works best if everyone is authentically invested in the long-term benefits. How many of us have experienced those collaborations when everyone benefited from the successful outcome? We are intrinsically motivated to do it again – it worked, we reached the outcome, and it was successful! It felt good! So, we do it again ‘that way’, maybe slightly differently but essentially the same.
However, there’s a fundamental problem as you can never do it ‘that way’ again. Why?
Every person in a collaboration is unique, and every collaboration no matter what rules, constraints or freedoms you set out will be different. You can try to be consistent, but how that translate to others, whether it is your collaborators, or the audience will interpret it differently. So where do we go next?
Start With One
Think of the most unique person you know. We usually think of a unique person as someone who stands out from the crowd, trailblazer’s, original thinkers, the movers and shakers – they have something to say and they usually want to say it loudly, except there’s one thing that guarantees that they are unique, loud or not. Authenticity.
What is it that makes you think they are ‘authentically’ unique? Authentic uniqueness is driven by not trying to be unique –it’s about being insatiably driven by their uniqueness. It is simply impossible to turn off their uniqueness, as this would be like ripping out their heart – a bit dramatic I know! You know who I am talking about. However, uniqueness doesn’t only belong here. Uniqueness also resides in the quietest of individuals and every other unlimited spectrum of person you know in-between what we can playfully call ‘extremes of uniqueness’.
From Great Heights to Soft Landings
Everybody no matter their uniqueness needs one guarantee that gives them the freedom to continue to be themselves. Belonging. To be able to return to the ground and plant themselves beside other trusted individuals.
The floodgates of uniqueness, whether quiet, stormy, fast and energetic or even-flowing need direction, check points along the way, so they can continue onwards. They need other people, with their own kinds of uniqueness to continue to grow and to ground collectively and individually. This happens most effectively in authentic collaborations – from a family collaborating to address a dispute, to children in classrooms learning to better understand each other, and within our organizations where decisions small and large can have the greatest potential and power to benefit everyone. Authentic collaboration is most successful when the whole benefits from the work of all the parts moving together. Although not necessarily always smoothly, as this is not realistic. There needs to be room for the inevitability of friction, tension, debate and diverse perspectives. Authentic collaboration needs authentic leadership.
Leaders are Individuals Too
They are individuals who carry more responsibility, however when they and every member of the team are collaborating authentically, everybody is essentially leading. Is this leading to potential disaster? Risks? Messiness? Yes. Absolutely! It’s going to happen. Fear sets in. Nothing gets resolved and everyone is unsettled. People lean in hard, mostly out of fear, feeling misunderstood, not knowing or thinking they can ask questions, voice concerns or contribute. Not feeling worthy or feeling insecure. They simply feel unsafe.
Let’s reflect back on the power of psychological safety –They are all unique individuals with unique perspectives. Both the leader and the people within the collaboration take a walk and cool off – on the path they come across those signposts that will help them to be authentic once again:
1. Accepting each other unconditionally with empathy and kindness.
2. Everyone’s ideas are welcome, and we judge constructively.
3. Curiosity, openness, flexibility and awareness of emotions is consistently practiced.
4. Everyone is safe to learn their way.
They can take a breath. They remember, realign and go around again, as they want to resolve tension, pain, issues and/or non-alignments. They reassure each other that mistakes happen, risks don’t always work and following the rules or giving ourselves more freedom might be a good choice next time. The most important part of all of it – through the drama and the storms, the high points and soft ground, the pain and the gain is to remember:
When We Honor Everyone’s Uniqueness We All Benefit
Uniqueness + Authenticity + Collaboration + Leadership
“All Collaborators Are Welcome” ©InsideOut Creativity - Katie Ravich
